There are many things that can really contribute to the success or failure of a sugar relationship. Of course, intellectual compatibility is only of those factors, but make no mistake about it. It’s very important and a lot more so than a lot of people think, especially when it comes to a sugar dating situation. Here’s a closer look at why, as well as how true intellectual compatibility actually expresses itself in a relationship.

What Does It Mean to Be Intellectually Compatible?

Let’s start by going over what intellectual compatibility isn’t about. It’s not about two people being equally smart or educated. It isn’t about sharing the exact same set of values or agreeing on everything either. It’s about connecting with one another on a level that’s more than skin deep. Couples who are intellectually compatible with one another:

  • Are deeply interested in one another as people and individuals.
  • Have passions and ideas that complement one another and work well together.
  • Are eager to share and discuss their ideas, values, and thoughts with one another.
  • Genuinely like the idea of learning from one another and growing together as a unit.

In other words, intellectual compatibility isn’t about prestigious degrees or having identical IQ scores. It’s actually about two people being attracted to one another on a level that’s much more than just physical. Those are the types of connections that eventually deepen into meaningful relationships that stand the test of time.

Fostering Intellectual Compatibility in a Relationship

People who are unfamiliar with the dynamics involved in a sugar relationship are often also unaware that they require as much give and take as other relationships do, if not more. In many cases, there are significant age gaps between the two people involved. A sugar daddy may well not like the same music, movies, pastimes, or styles as his sugar baby and vice versa.

Intellectual compatibility is often the key to successfully bridging those gaps (if they exist in the first place). It’s what helps two people from different generations, walks of life, or backgrounds find common ground to build on. The following tips can help cultivate it in your relationships.

Nix the Small Talk

Small talk is fine and dandy when you’re trying to make polite conversation with a colleague or the guy sitting next to you on a long flight. However, it does nothing to help two people in a potential relationship make a genuine connection with one another. Instead of wasting time on shallow conversation about the weather, spend your energy actually getting to know one another instead. Share your interests, your passions, and your deeply held values. Ask your partner questions about theirs, especially in regards to anything you find genuinely interesting. Real conversations are so refreshing and well worth having if you’re serious about connecting with the other person.

Discuss Your Goals

Everyone has goals, dreams, and things they’d love to try or accomplish one day. What are yours? What are your partner’s? Are there any key areas where they intersect particularly well? You’ll never find out if you don’t open up and get to talking on a deeper level about what you both want out of life. Don’t hold back out of worry that your goals aren’t compatible. If that’s truly the case, better to know sooner rather than later.

Bond Over Common Interests

Although helping intellectual compatibility bloom within your sugar relationship doesn’t require liking the same things, bonding over what you do have in common can be very helpful. Again, keep lackluster chatter about the minutiae of your days to an absolute minimum. Sugar relationships thrive on stimulating conversation that really sparkles, so make it a point to talk about ideas and topics you’re both passionate about. Use what you learn about each other to plan meaningful, interesting dates you’ll both love as well.

If you’re not used to having deeper, more meaningful conversations with your sugar partners, you’ll probably be blown away by the difference and wind up wondering why you didn’t switch things up a lot sooner. Real conversation and true intellectual connection is the secret to staying interested in one another even after many years together. Are you ready to step out of your comfort zone and take your sugar relationship to the next level?